| You say I'm predictable.
Yet you don't understand me.
Only one person completely understands me.
And it's taken over four years of being my best friend.
What the hell is my problem?
You never know what you want,
And you never say what you mean.
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| I haven't updated in a long long while. My life has been moving so fast. I graduated high school last month and I can honestly I can say I've never pictured myself where I am right now. In August I'm moving to Austin... I just recently went to Orientation and I'm very excited for school :] But lately all that's been passing my mind is spending as much time and making as many memories with my friends and loved ones here. Especially Bobby. This whole thing has been kind of hard on him, which is understandable. I'm just so scared. Everything is changing. I hate change, you know I hate change. I've been thinking lately about how awesome my life has been here. How much fun I've had... how many people I've met and had relationships with. Freshman year I was depressed with barely any friends and hated myself... look at me now. A graduate of high school with a ton of friends, acquaintances and wonderful boyfriend that I'm in love with. I was thinking about memories, and more so people I miss. Chillaxing with Anna Hickman and Trevor Brown, going to watch the Mercy Embraced boys play a show, spending all day on Michael's couch watching movies and video games. I'm afraid that when I leave I'm not going to see anyone anymore. And it's not that I need these people... there are only a few that I really need... it just makes me sad. I had some good fucking times with them. I don't even know what I miss but I miss something. I think I'm just realizing that I'm moving on with my life and it scares me. But look out world, here I come.
And when I see you,
I really see you upside down
But my brain knows better
It picks you up and turns you around. Turns you around, turns you around.
If you feel discouraged
That there's a lack of color here,
Please don't worry lover
It's really bursting at the seams
For absorbing everything
The spectrum's a to z
This is fact not fiction
For the first time in years
All the girls in every girly magazine
Can't make me feel any less alone
I'm reaching for the phone
To call at 7:03
And on your machine I slur a plea for you to come home
But I know it's too late.
I should have given you a reason to stay.
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| My heart is melting into a gigantic puddle of metaphorical love.
I have the sweetest boy ever.
What we have is so much more, but we'll go ahead and call it love.
You're the light I've waited for, the only thing I'm certain of.
There's a feeling I can't ignore that this was supposed to be.
When the sky is changing colors, am I the sun you'll see?
And when you look up at the night will the constellations point to me?
I know you've got somewhere to be,
But don't you dare leave here without me.
Will you keep me close to you even when you're away?
I'll wrap your finger in gold if you don't forget me.
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|  I love editing pictures. I took this one too. |
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| I wish I was happier. I wish I had spent our two months with the boy I love. But talking to him made me feel better. I love Bobby Gilmore. This is only the beginning.
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